He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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