Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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