Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
