We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
