In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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