In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
