I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
