you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
