you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
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On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
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With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
try to milk me bitch
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