so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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