quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
