Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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