I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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