i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
