I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
