I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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