I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
