If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
