My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
