im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
