I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
