I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
