I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
