I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i came on her dog
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face