It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.