Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
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ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun