Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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