I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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