Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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