Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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