Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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