all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
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I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
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Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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