I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
