You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
