I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize