Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
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like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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