Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
