so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So here I am, sexting at work.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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