Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You have to summon your inner elephant
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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