butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
this is an emotional support booty call
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