Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
