Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
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