honey bunches of taint.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
