ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
