it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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