So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
