My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just want nice things and good sex
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
