My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
