whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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