Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.