Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??