I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
