Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.