in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.