I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
