i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
