I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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