I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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