Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
