K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
