I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
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yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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