I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
