Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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