drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
