I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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