He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
