Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
