Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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