Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
