She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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